<body><iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=28183719&amp;blogName=1gramofsugarylove%7D&amp;publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT&amp;navbarType=BLUE&amp;layoutType=CLASSIC&amp;homepageUrl=http%3A%2F%2F1gramofsugarylove.blogspot.com%2F&amp;searchRoot=http%3A%2F%2F1gramofsugarylove.blogspot.com%2Fsearch" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="30px" width="100%" id="navbar-iframe"></iframe> <div id="space-for-ie"></div> let me see your tailfeathers.



See, it hurts me to tell you this
But it kills me to keep it inside
Tuesday, December 30, 2008 / 11:25 PM



It had not been a good year for me at all.
I hated this year. So many things happened.
This year happened all in a blur. Everything went wrong.
I can't even remember specific events that happened.
Maybe its because i tried to survive each day without feelings.
Maybe its because i tried to look like i had everything going well for me.
I tried to pass each day as fast as i can.
I try to live each day routinely. Unfeelingly.
I would do everything i needed to do, and thats it.
There were just so many things that were precious to me that i have lost.
Much more than what you see or know.
And there were so many other stuff to deal with.
I had no time to care for how i feel.
I feel like i've wasted a year of my life.
I feel like the year has passed without me living it.
I feel absent throughout the year.
Its like i wasn't even there.
2008 was the worst year i've ever been in.
I know i've physically lived it.
But mentally, the last 263 days never happened.
If you'd ask me, i would definitely choose to live 2008 differently.
But if i had the power to change my 2008, i wouldnt.
No. I just can't re-live that horrible year again.
I'd rather forget it every happened.

I'm really relieved its going to be a new year soon.
I'm really glad i've survived one year in poly.
I just really want to make it through these times.
Its going to be hard to pick myself up for 2009 from where i left off here.
Please, at least just let me live through the semester.
I really don't care if i don't remember how i made it through.
I really don't care if everything passed in a blur again.
If 2009 is going to be like this year again,
Then all i really want is to just get the next year over and done with.


Then the time would come when you would asked me,
"Why didn't you tell me that you were going through tough times?
Don't keep everything to yourself. I'll be here for you."

And when that happens,
All that i can say to you is,
"I did. I called to you so many times for help.
But you never noticed. You never took the time to care.
You lied. You were never there.
So i figured that i could get other things done
Rather than wasting time on futile attempts on trying to get you to listen"

I feel disppointed.
In everything. In everyone.



11:25 PM
Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.